You know that waking up is hard to be Now I know I know that I see Sometimes I think and pretend When waking up is breaking up I wish that I were sane again!
I woke up one morning to the tune of Neil Sedaka’s “‘Cause Breaking Up is Hard to Do” and was humored as I watched my mind adapt the words. I love the sense of humor that wakens me in spontaneous revery.
Isn’t it true? Waking up is sometimes so hard to be. The process of coming into Awareness can be difficult and is sometimes fraught with pain and discomfort. Being in Awareness, BEING is not difficult at all. We are enfolded, fused in the safety and comfort that peace and wisdom provide. Stillness and Supreme Silence send waves of bliss and joy. And, we breathe in the knowledge that everything really is ALL right!
Stillness and Supreme Silence send waves of bliss and joy.
So, when the receptive waves of wakin’ up start breakin’ up and the static of fear starts running interference with the Truth, then what?
Of primary importance, how do I bring myself back to Being? First, I must sing the song I’m singing. If I try to fool myself and others with lyrics to a melody of anything other than self acceptance, we all know how that goes. Lying to ourselves and others just digs us deeper into the hole of our illusions.
My favorite lessons from A Course in Miracles are those that direct our power of choice. Through consistent practice, we learn to focus our will and turn the mind toward the Light of our Awareness. The Holy Spirit “tells you to return your whole mind to God, because it already belongs to Him.” (Text, page 98).
So, I must begin where I am. Afraid, angry, resentful, filled with regret and remorse, guilty, grieving, irritated, judgmental, confused; all of which the ego uses to spin endless, clever ruses to assuage the pain of isolation from Love. This is where waking up is hard to be. Most important of all, I have to become aware of right where I am and connect with the pain I am experiencing, whether it be emotional, physical, spiritual or mental.
…the point of pain is the place where healing begins.
The Course reminds us to see all pain as a call for love. And, to understand that the point of pain is the place where healing begins. Rumi says, “Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment.” This is how I understand Rumi’s words: I have to turn my attention into the pain and “sell” everything I think I know about it. Then, bow my head low enough to touch the feet of my Heart.
Through honest learning, we prepare ourselves to “buy bewilderment”. Humility becomes our currency of exchange. We accept that we don’t know how to come into Love’s grace. Waiting with our willingness to be surprised, The Still Small Voice offers Itself as the Answer. In a state of tenderness, we find ourselves surrendered. The Holy Spirit moves of Its own Will, leaving us in landscapes of the Heart where delight and awe breathe fresh breezes that purify the mind and refresh the soul.
A sigh of relief beckons us to bow our heads low, and we pray, “What would You have me say and do in this situation? What do You want me to understand? What do You want me to see? And, How can I serve You?” Our individual will aligns with the Will of Love.
…find a way that works for you and work it.
Waking up is hard work, the hardest work we will ever do and keep on doing. It means honoring the longing in our heart by committing to a rigorous and vigilant mindfulness training. This is the supreme beauty and gift of the daily lessons in The Workbook for Students. Through practice, we learn to witness the mind, then offer it to the Holy Spirit and see with the eyes of God. So, to master the mind, find a way that works for you and work it.
It’s helpful and nurturing to have a support team, members of whom are committed to seeing themselves as Love and extending that vision to you and all others. I call these angels my Board of Advisors. Significantly, they include stellar friends and the Masters throughout time who have gone before us to show the way home to the Heart.
Also, it’s deeply enriching to have a safe place where you can gather with others who share your passion and longing for Truth. People who are not afraid to sell their cleverness. In their courage to be transparent, they allow themselves to be vendors of bewilderment for one another as they listen to and speak from the Heart.
‘Cause waking up is hard to be
Now I know
I know that I See …
Once you experience the whispers of Awakening, there’s no turning back or pretending you don’t know. Of primary importance, give your whole mind to God, then give your whole Yes.
If you want peace and struggle with trusting yourself, you are warmly invited to participate in A Course in Miracles study groups and retreats with Anasuya.
If you are wanting the benefits of private work, please call Anasuya directly at 707-889-3510.
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by Anasuya Floan