Let it Die – A Gift of Grief
Sometimes an unexpected message of change becomes a gift of grief that breaks us open and sets us free.
I recently experienced what I perceived as a betrayal. It wasn’t the message itself; that I accepted. In fact, I was coming to the same decision. I felt betrayed by the way the message was delivered.
When I left the ten-minute meeting in which I had been told in a few sentences that I was no longer needed, I heard two very distinct and tender whispers calling from beneath the searing pain in my Heart: “Let it die. Die into Me.”
There are certain parts of ourselves that only grief can introduce us to.
Those loving commands became the mantras that guided me through the following weeks of grief. I was suddenly and unexpectedly saying goodbye. And, to way more than the position of service I had held so dear, I was saying goodbye to a part of myself that only grief could introduce me to.
Through the stream of midnight tears, I shed the skin of attachments that I had accumulated without realizing it. I laid awake, listening. “Let it die” on the inhale, “Die into Me” on the exhale. Slowly, gently, I offered my trust to the Still Small Voice. Then with each breath, I gave myself over to Its gentle influence and fell deeper into the pain. Is Love here too?
“Let it die.” The welcome comfort of my tears brought the humility of acceptance that would reveal the errors of who I thought I was. I am not what people think of me. Nor, am I what I have accomplished or how well I have performed. And, I am not my perception of how I think they should treat me because of what I believe or hope they think of me.
What are the gifts of abundance that the Divine is wanting to give me now?
“Die into Me.” As I let go into the Light of my heart, I could now see the root cause of my mistake in how I perceived myself. The lie that I am not loved dissolved in the Grace-giving waters of Forgiveness and left me naked, free to be in the truth. I am loved.
From within a delicate and empty Quietude, a question emerged, “What are the gifts of abundance that the Divine is wanting to give me now?” As I drank from this unexpected and welcome pool of hope and renewal, a warm glow of light began to emanate beginning in my belly, “Time.” Blissfully rising up into my heart, “Freedom.” And peacefully settling just below my throat, “Relief.”
I have more time to focus on the things that my heart is longing to do, like write the story of my spiritual journey that has been my guiding Light through life. A new freedom is singing in my heart. No more need to please, perform and answer to someone else’s demands. An abundance of relief offers a respite of peace. Relief from responsibilities that are no longer mine, I am free to rest my focus in the safety of Love’s Will for me.
Give yourself over completely to Love’s Influence
“Let it die. Die into Me.” Trust the Still Small Voice within. Give yourself over completely to Its influence. It speaks as the Divine Will, leading the mind safely home to the Heart. Joy, freedom, peace and abundance are Its gifts. Take all you need. They are yours for the taking.
Do you want peace and struggle with trusting yourself?
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by Anasuya Floan